Friday, August 3, 2012

WILD LIFE

This week's Friday Fictioneers' photo prompt has been something of a challenge. While it might conjure up visions of creepy aliens. it's a picture of a cut grape vine. I neither wrote about grape vines nor aliens. Just under 100 words this week with 99.

Half naked Himba people in Nambia, a sweaty camera crew and millions of TV viewers witnessed our marriage vows.

I willingly followed Trevor up the Himalayas, drank sun-scorched canteen water instead of Cabernet and swatted mosquitos in the Amazon.

In Nepal he slipped on something and narrowly escaped being trampled by a choleric elephant.

“I’m done,” he whispered later. “Let’s go home.”

“You are my home.”

Back in the states, safe from cheetah attacks and hippo stampedes, Trevor’s mangled body lies on a cold steel table. The driver, texting on her cell phone, never saw him cross the street.
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36 comments:

  1. UnknownAugust 3, 2012 at 2:37 AM

    Ironic that he met his demise on familiar territory. Despite the tragedy, I really love the romance in this line:

    “You are my home.”

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  2. Douglas MacIlroyAugust 3, 2012 at 3:02 AM

    Dear Rochelle,

    The line that said it all for me was, "You are my home." I sense a lot of you in that sentence.

    You show us the majesty of a life well lived and the tragedy of love lost to chance and circumstance. The world is a dangerous place and I'd take my chances in many a lonely and isolated spot before living long in a city.

    (I'm glad to see you this week and happy to have crossed the line first for once:)

    Aloha,

    Doug

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  3. AnonymousAugust 3, 2012 at 3:30 AM

    "You are my home", beautiful line! Very well spoken!

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  4. AnonymousAugust 3, 2012 at 4:01 AM

    Lovely piece, despite the sadness of the ending. I'm glad they shared so many adventures together before 'the end'!

    I appreciate your comment on ours :)

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  5. MaggieAugust 3, 2012 at 4:03 AM

    Very poignant and helpful in remembering to focus on the good times. Nice little story.

    Here's mine: http://unexpectedpaths.com/friday-fictioneers/try-not-to-notice/

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  6. UnknownAugust 3, 2012 at 4:46 AM

    Texting and driving is always a bad combo. I won't even talk on my phone while driving, or talk to anyone who is talking on their phone while driving. Glad he at least got to experience some good times before he was taken out by the carelessness of another.

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  7. AnonymousAugust 3, 2012 at 5:13 AM

    A very poignant story with a powerful message. A warning to us all. Thank you, Rochelle.

    --Jan
    http://janmorrill.wordpress.com/2012/08/03/flashfriday-fictioneers-devolution/

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  8. AnonymousAugust 3, 2012 at 6:55 AM

    Loved your story. "You are my home.", a beautiful line of an enduring, forever kind of love. Real emotion throughout the piece.
    Here's mine. A little slant on the environmental issue with a bit of a sci-fi feel, I guess. Seemed the only way to go for me. Ha!
    http://jemj47.wordpress.com

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  9. AnonymousAugust 3, 2012 at 8:06 AM

    Agree with everyone else about the home line. But also the choleric elephant is quite good.

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  10. Sandra CrookAugust 3, 2012 at 8:33 AM

    That's such a sad story, living through all that to die in such a mundane way. Well done for expertly handling the contrast.

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  11. AnonymousAugust 3, 2012 at 9:58 AM

    Rocks!
    You did it again. You never cease to amaze me. How many times have I said that life is a total crapshoot?

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  12. RussellAugust 3, 2012 at 10:56 AM

    Rochelle,
    Very powerful. It reminds me of a true story an old WWII veteran told me about a soldier who fought weeks on Iwo Jima without a scratch, only to step off a curb and be killed by a truck a week after returning home. We just never know when our number is going to come up.

    Thanks for visiting & commenting on mine
    http://russellgayer.blogspot.com/

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  13. AnonymousAugust 3, 2012 at 4:04 PM

    A heart-breaking story and a bit of a lesson too, I think. You show a great deal of the characters of the couple in this piece. I would have liked a little extra clue about the order in which the events took place - maybe you could have used your 1 extra word to start the second paragraph with "Afterwards," The punch at the end certainly leaves us reeling, as I'm sure it left the narrator.
    I'm over here: http://elmowrites.wordpress.com/2012/08/03/friday-fiction-torment/

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  14. billgncsAugust 3, 2012 at 7:29 PM

    how precious life is, I loved this!

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  15. AnonymousAugust 3, 2012 at 8:25 PM

    Lovely writing, way to tear our heartstrings at the end, well done.

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  16. Jess SchiraAugust 4, 2012 at 4:36 AM

    Sad ending, oddly, I just read an article about the dangers of texting from behind the wheel. Very well done!

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  17. C.C. August 4, 2012 at 5:30 AM

    Oh mercy. I ached for her at the end. To have and then to lose so senselessly is awful. At least she had... Great take on the prompt

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  18. AnonymousAugust 4, 2012 at 5:46 AM

    That's terrible! Hoping its not based on a true story :(
    After all the like threatening awesome adventures, only to be put down by an inattentive driver on a cell phone. Thanks for sharing this story Rochelle. We should be so much more responsible behind the wheels.

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    Replies
    1. Rochelle Wisoff-FieldsAugust 4, 2012 at 5:49 AM

      The story is based on more than one true event. And having been almost taken out by a texter or two I have to wonder what ever happened to common sense.

      Delete
  19. EHillsonAugust 4, 2012 at 7:09 AM

    Tragic story, and well written. Phones and drivers do not mix well. And as to common sense that died long ago.

    For you readers:
    http://adrarasdreams.blogspot.co.uk/2012/08/fridayfictioneers-slime.html

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  20. AnonymousAugust 4, 2012 at 7:46 AM

    I was relieved to read you've been married for 40 years and that this was not based on your life's story. Great contrast between the exoticism of the adventurer's life and his mundane death.

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  21. TrudyAugust 4, 2012 at 7:46 AM

    That's a great story, the ending took me completely by surprise, so tragic. Loved it.

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  22. AnonymousAugust 4, 2012 at 10:25 AM

    That was a great story and with a fitting moral. So ironic to end a life in a place that should have been safe after near misses in the supposed danger zones.

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  23. janetAugust 4, 2012 at 12:25 PM

    Excellent use of irony and a sober comment on the dangers of texting while driving, the latter all the more powerful for being oblique.

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  24. AnonymousAugust 4, 2012 at 1:09 PM

    A sad ending to such a romantic tale.
    Here is mine yaralwrites.com

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  25. KarenAugust 4, 2012 at 1:45 PM

    Wow, fantastically written story :D The ending was so sad!

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  26. LoraAugust 4, 2012 at 4:17 PM

    Hi Rochelle: Happy to see you veered away from the creepy side. I agree with everyone about your beautiful, heartwarming "You are my home" line. Sad ending. Reminds me of this soldier who returned home after 4 yrs in Aghan... without a scratch, only to be killed in a Bronx street "gang" crossfire. Nice work as usual, Rocky.

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    Replies
    1. Rochelle Wisoff-FieldsAugust 4, 2012 at 6:25 PM

      Unfortunately there are too many stories like that, Lora. My husband's cousin was only home from Viet Nam a few weeks in 1969 before he was killed in a car accident.
      I also thought of Steve Irwin. Who'd have thought he'd die by a stingray? Life is full of ironies, isn't it?

      Delete
  27. AnonymousAugust 4, 2012 at 4:46 PM

    Enjoying your blog-I see you read mine as well. I'm not sure how I "follow" it on blogspot, but I would like to-and hope you will follow me as well. Is there an easy way to do that? I see we both do Friday Fictioneers, s we are linked by that.

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  28. AnonymousAugust 4, 2012 at 7:56 PM

    Beautiful example or irony. Difficult to do bu you really pulled it off well. Good job!

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  29. AnonymousAugust 5, 2012 at 3:26 PM

    Beautiful and tragic - so heartfelt and so unfortunately common, that someone can adventure around the world and yet be cut down through a foolish mistake...

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  30. tedstrutzAugust 6, 2012 at 11:48 AM

    That puts things in perspective... nice story.

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  31. Susan WenzelAugust 7, 2012 at 8:19 PM

    So much story with so few words. I applaud YOU! This was enjoyable (yet depressing) and I really felt your protagonists pain. Well played...

    ~Susan

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  32. Danny BowmanAugust 8, 2012 at 4:59 PM

    Thanks for stopping by at my blog, and sorry it took so long for me to get back to you!

    You captured the absurdity of life perfectly and touchingly. Poignant and well done.

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  33. AnonymousAugust 10, 2012 at 7:20 PM

    Loved "You are my home.", "hippo stampedes" (do hippos stampede?), and "sun-scorched canteen water". :)

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