Jenna asked her mom why there were no baby pictures of her in the family album.
“We adopted you when you were three. Your real mother didn’t want you.”
Until she turned thirteen she accepted Mom’s explanation. Then the dreams started. A tunnel. Benches.
“Stay here, Tracy," said the black-haired lady.
But rough hands came out of the tunnel and carried her off.
Today as she rode her bike Jenna found the same tunnel.
On the bench a lady with black hair wiped tears from her eyes and stared at Jenna.
“Tracy?”
“I’m sorry, Mommy. I went away.”
Oh that was good full of suspense. I wonder what else the child can do if she can dream so vividly? Here's my humble offering :
ReplyDeletehttp://remakingme-atiyatownes.blogspot.com/2012/04/friday-flash-fiction-rural-route-27.html
Good one, and the feel-good factor too. Nice work.
ReplyDeletehttp://castelsarrasin.wordpress.com/2012/04/13/a-place-to-die-for-friday-fictioneers-13-april-2012/
This is very powerful. Excellent work.
ReplyDeletehttp://quillshiv.com/2012/04/12/flash-fiction-faction-from-agatha/
A very creative take on the photo. Beautiful and poignant. Nice!
ReplyDelete--Jan
http://janmorrill.wordpress.com/2012/04/13/1571/
Oh sweet little tale with a happy ending. I was wondering why the so called "adoptive" mother was so cruel in her answer. Well done.
ReplyDeleteLaura
Here is mine:
http://fictionvictimtoo.blogspot.com
What a haunting story. I hope the adoptive mother takes back the cruel answer she gave - or maybe the adoptive mother had the child kidnapped and wants the girl to think her real mom didn't want her? Good flash, Rochelle! Thanks for joining us and I hope you come back every week :)
ReplyDeleteGreat job. I loved this and am glad it ended happily.
ReplyDeleteMy story, "Shell Shocked" is here: http://www.banterwithbeth.blogspot.com/
DarkElmo approves of the general turn of the stories this week, and yours is a great example. I'm glad you resolved the story for us - cleverly done in so few words.
ReplyDeleteI'm over here: http://elmowrites.wordpress.com/2012/04/13/friday-fiction-the-tunnel/
Wow, powerful stuff. And what a shocking realisation that must have been. Dreams bringing clarity. I like it. You use a punchy style here which really drives the story home. Very well done.
ReplyDeleteHere's my story this week:
http://andyfloodwritersblog.wordpress.com/2012/04/13/meet-me-there/
A haunting look at the innocence of Jenna, coupled with the disturbingly-real twist of her being snatched away early in life.
ReplyDeleteIt also reminded me a little of Japanese horror, expecting Jenna's real mum to be a haunted spectre or something. That's just my darker imagination, I'm sure. :)
Mine is this-a-way:
http://garybaileywriting.wordpress.com/2012/04/13/134/
Sweet story. Kinda sad too. Here's mine. http://jemcogdell.blogspot.com/2012/04/running.html
ReplyDeleteWOW how poignant
ReplyDeleteWow. I loved this one. I can see the mom returning to the place she last saw her daughter. Loved the reunited ending.
ReplyDeleteMine: http://shirleymccann.blogspot.com/2012/04/nightmare.html
Hi ROchelle: I don't know how I missed this. It reminds me of all the innocent children disappearing from their own beds. I don't know what happened in your story but happy how it ended. If you wish to catch up with my Friday Fictioneer stories, find me here:
ReplyDeletewww.triplemoonstar.blogspot.com