Thursday, July 19, 2012

BITTERSWEET

A week's vacation has afforded me more writing time than usual. Even though it's only Thursday I deem my Friday Fictioneers story ready for viewing. 98 words if you're counting.

Savage heat devoured the crops. My hopes for new shoes, satin and lace shriveled with the corn and beans in Daddy’s field.

Mama inspected brittle vines along the fence. “No jelly makin’ this year, Della-Mae.”

Under the feral sun, on withered ground, she smoothed spotless bed-sheets. Then she strewed them with tiny grapes.

In September I pledged my troth in Mama’s yellowed gown. Her slippers were half again too small so I walked the aisle barefoot.

Thirty-nine years later, as we did on our wedding day, Rueben and I celebrate our devotion with grapevine bouquets and raisin wine.

46 comments:

  1. A barefoot wedding, how lovely! And doesn't every girl wish for those new things on the day she starts a new life. A well written look at a hard life. I enjoyed this.

    Mine's here for those who haven't seen it yet: http://ajaroffireflies.blogspot.com/2012/07/friday-fictioneers-07202012.html#.UAgU27RPv0c

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    1. Hmmm try this one instead. Oops. http://bit.ly/MKkO5V

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  2. Some terrific use of adjectives here - brittle vines, feral sun, yellowed gown. They really conveyed the scene.

    http://castelsarrasin.wordpress.com/2012/07/19/triple-exposure-friday-fictioneers-july-2012/

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  3. Loved "feral sun" and more. Twenty-nine years of devotion is worth more than all the satin and lace in the world. I really liked it.

    http://mysocalleddutchlife.wordpress.com/2012/07/19/through-the-grapevine-ff-200712/

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  4. full of emotion and hope. I liked it very much.

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  5. A very touching story of marital bliss, in spite of its beginnings. Mine is at http://jemj47.wordpress.com I used the link provided on Madison's blog for the FF, but not sure it will come up right. So, included my link here to my story.

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  6. A rough start with a happy ending. Even my dark tendencies can appreciate that. Very well written, too.

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  7. I love it--the fidelity, the hope, the weathering changes and adversity! Very appropriate in the drought right now, too.

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  8. You mixed the two time periods excellently.

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  9. How sweet! Loved it! Thanks for stopping by mine: http://theforgottenwife.com/2012/07/19/friday-fictioneers-july-20-2012/

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  10. Your writings give nicest pictures

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  11. This is very well written with a nice move through time. Thank so much for reading mine
    http://boomiebol.wordpress.com/2012/07/18/office-talk-friday-fictioneers-718/

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  12. Well done as always! mine can be found here: http://oldentimes.wordpress.com/2012/07/19/friday-fictioneers-july-20-dust-bowl/

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  13. Sweet, heartwarming and made me smile. The barefeet, and then the perseverence and hard work through the years...lovely. Thanks Rochelle. Mine's on the list.

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  14. I commented earlier, and then went out on a 20 mile bike ride. I was thinking about this all through the ride. So I wanted to come back and say this is one of the best flash fiction posts I have ever read. -- bw

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  15. I agree with Bill. One of your best, Rochelle Hm...grapevine bouquet and raisin wine... Nice. So many early birds...not written mine yet.

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  16. Poignant. Could have been heartbreaking, but was instead bursting with love. Nicely done.

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  17. Great job, Rocks! Turning the negative into something positive and beautiful.

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  18. Beautiful - it reminds me of a song called In a Country Churchyard by Chris de Burgh and I love the idea of a barefoot wedding too - love knows no bounds when it's no longer bound by the pagentry of the occasion :-)
    http://womanontheedgeofreality.com/2012/07/20/friday-fictioneers-the-grapevine/

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  19. Oh that was lovely, the way the drought and the grapes and the history were all woven together. Great job!

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  20. I'm still turning 'feral sun' over and over on my tongue. What a wonderful phrase. Beautifully crafter, Rochelle.

    http://www.lazuli-portals.com/flash-fiction/sweet-and-sour

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  21. Excellent flash, Rochelle. Sometimes hard times and simple pleasure bring the greatest rewards.

    http://russellgayer.blogspot.com/

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  22. Devotion and hope always gets you through the hard times, loved this.

    http://freejournowriter.wordpress.com/2012/07/19/fridayfictioneers-last-of-the-summer-vines/

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  23. Wow, really well done. I love the romance and acceptance you've incorporated into this story. Sadly, you've pretty much nailed the current situation of today's fruit farmers. Excellent job!

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  24. This was beautiful! Turning hardship and adversity into a new beginning. Well done! Here's mine: http://theforgottenwife.com/2012/07/19/friday-fictioneers-july-20-2012/

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  25. Dear Rochelle,

    You paint a beautiful picture with concise brush strokes full of color and life. A life well lived all woven from Summer's heat and shadowed vines. Good vintage this week!

    Thank you for visiting mine and leaving such a nice comment. I very much appreciate it coming from you.

    Aloha,

    Doug

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  26. A well-crafted story, from the grapes to the wedding, and from a bad crop to a hopeful tone. Here's to vacations!

    Brian (Here's mine: http://pinionpost.com/2012/07/20/terroir/)

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  27. She wanted the pretty life (satin and lace) but seems happy enough with what she ended up with (grape vines and bare feet). I too enjoyed "feral sun"...it is what much of the country is experiencing these days (including the resultant ruined crops).

    ~Susan (www.susanwenzel.com)

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  28. The voice in the piece felt very authentic - I enjoyed it!

    Mine is here: http://erinleary.wordpress.com/2012/07/19/flash-friday-fiction-12/

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  29. Strong images and lovely time travel!

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  30. What beautiful story of tradition. 98 words and you pulled off some great imagery. Thanks for commenting on mine. Here's the link for others : http://remakingme-atiyatownes.blogspot.com/2012/07/friday-fictioneers-under-vines.html

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  31. What a romantic story! I love it. Great wording. Thanks for visiting mine.

    http://ebooksscifi.wordpress.com/2012/07/20/pre-fall-by-ilyan-kei-lavanway-for-madison-woods-friday-fictioneers-100-word-flash-fiction/

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  32. What a sweet story! Hardships endured and overcome. I love the resilience all the characters show.

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  33. A more happy insight of a life with hardships. I also liked the use of 'feral sun', nice one.

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  34. Great story with some vivid images.

    Here's mine
    http://tollykitsjourney.wordpress.com/2012/07/20/vines-fridayfictioneers-flashfiction/

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  35. I like the grace under poverty that the characters have in this story.

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  36. Every so often I have to write something that doesn't have a dark twist. Thanks to everyone for the lovely comments. While I don't respond to each one, it's fun to give and take feedback. The life's blood of Friday Fictioneers.

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  37. Hey Rocky: Thanks for commenting on mine. You asked what his surprise is/was...plus a few "younger" readers didn't "get it" not knowing much about J. Lennon...so I added an explanation w/photos at the end. Please return to read my explanation. www.triplemoonstar.blogspot.com Tks. Lora

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  38. Oh, wow. I really loved this. Thank you for coming to my site and leaving me the link to your story! Your story made me think of my own family from a few generations ago!

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  39. I really enjoyed this. A fresh take on the picture, too. Thanks for stopping by My Write Side this weekend!

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  40. making the best of a situation. that's great.

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  41. The image of a barefoot wedding that is not on the beach seems to convey a deeper love, an earthier tone, something richer. I liked it. Thanks.

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  42. This is lovely. Odd that there is a Ruben (although not Rueben) in mine - it's quite an unusual name.

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  43. Nicely told. I liked "pledged my troth"—it sounded very southe'n to me. :D Happy the marriage lasted, too. ;)

    The only thing that raised my eyebrows (beyond raisin wine which I had to Google) was the spotless bed-sheets. Initially, it seemed like this was a yearly tradition (because of the mention of jelly makin') and I couldn't understand why they wouldn't have sheets specific to this purpose (and therefore stained). It was only after I re-read it and realized that they probably didn't make raisins or raisin wine every year that my eyebrows went down.

    Thanks for your comment on mine!

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